Ang dami ko kasing dinaanan.
There were seasons when I thought life was unfair. Times when I carried pain I couldn’t explain and burdens that felt too heavy for my shoulders.
May mga gabing umiiyak ako na walang nakakakita.
May mga umagang bumabangon ako dahil kailangan, hindi dahil gusto ko.
And yet, looking back now, I realize something beautiful.
God wasted nothing.
Hindi Niya sinayang kahit isa sa mga luha ko.
Hindi Niya sinayang kahit isa sa mga pagkakamali ko.
Hindi Niya sinayang kahit iyong mga panahon na akala ko wala Siyang ginagawa.
Somehow, He was writing a story bigger than the one I could see.
Eto na.
When you’re a child, the most important days of the year are your birthday and Christmas.
Tama ba?
Kasi iyon ang mga araw na feeling mo the whole world revolves around you.
May handaan.
May regalo.
May surprises.
And you honestly believe that everyone wants to make you happy.
Never happened to me.
At least not the way people imagine.
I remember being in the convent during Christmas.
May tradition sila.
They asked each person:
“What is the one thing you wish for this coming Christmas?”
At alam mo ba ang sagot ko?
Sabi ko:
“Please don’t wake me up in the morning. Gusto ko lang matulog nang mahaba.”
Hahaha.
Hanggang ngayon natatawa ako.
Pero kapag mas malalim mong tiningnan, medyo nakakalungkot din.
What kind of a person asks for sleep instead of stuff?
What kind of a woman dreams of rest instead of gifts?
Maybe a someone who was already tired.
An individual carrying things she wasn’t supposed to carry yet.
Doon pa lang obvious na.
The convent was never going to be my permanent home.
Too many rules.
Too many walls.
Too many schedules.
Because freedom has always been part of who I am.
In-born yata.
My spirit has always loved open skies.
But here’s the funny thing.
Maybe the convent wasn’t the place of my calling, though I knew God was “calling” me.
I just didn’t know where.
Or how.
Or when.
Pero sigurado ako.
His calling has colored my entire life.
Every chapter.
Every heartbreak.
Every victory.
Every detour.
Every miracle.
Nung dumating ako sa Canada, something happened.
Slowly, one by one, many of the desires I carried for years started appearing.
Freedom.
Peace.
Security.
A quiet life.
A home I can freely designed
Simple joys.
And that’s when I finally understood something that took God decades to teach me.
Sometimes God’s answer isn’t NO.
It’s simply:
“Not yet.”
May sarili Siyang timing.
At napakaganda ng timing Niya.
Much better than ours.
Because while we are asking for blessings, He is preparing us to handle them.
I spent years asking:
“Lord, why not now?”
“Why can’t I have it yet?”
“Why does everybody else seem to get what they want?”
Now I know.
Because my priorities were wrong.
Parang batang gustong ubusin lahat ng tsokolate bago kumain ng totoong pagkain.
The child thinks the chocolate is love.
The Father knows nourishment is love.
What I wanted was not always what I needed.
And because God loved me too much, He refused to spoil me.
You know what fascinated me most about God?
Every time I obeyed Him, He revealed a secret.
Every time.
A lesson.
A truth.
A deeper understanding.
Parang may binubulong Siya na hindi maririnig ng iba unless willing kang sumunod.
He’s mysterious.
Napakalihim Niya.
And honestly?
That got me hooked.
Because every act of trust opened another door.
Every surrender revealed another piece of His heart.
Now I understand.
At least a little.
Not everything.
I don’t think any of us fully understand God while we’re still here.
But enough to know this:
He already knows what you want.
Hindi mo kailangang paulit-ulit ipaalala sa Kanya.
Alam Niya.
Alam Niya ang mga wishes mo.
Alam Niya ang mga luha mo.
Alam Niya ang mga lihim mong hiling.
Alam Niya kahit iyong mga bagay na hindi mo masabi sa ibang tao.
But His goal is never merely to make you happy for a moment.
His goal is to give you the best life possible.
The life He designed specifically for you.
And that’s why I never envy anyone.
I no longer panic when things don’t happen on my schedule.
Because I’ve learned something precious.
God’s delays are often hidden acts of mercy.
What feels like rejection today may actually be protection.
What feels like waiting may actually be preparation.
What feels like silence may actually be God working behind the scenes.
Kaya ngayon, when people ask me about God’s plans, I tell them this:
His dream for you is much bigger than surviving.
Much bigger than paying bills.
Much bigger than getting through another year.
His dream is joy.
His dream is peace.
His dream is abundance of spirit.
His dream is a life filled with His presence.
In a way, Pasko araw-araw ang plano Niya para sa atin.
Not because every day will be easy.
But because every day carries a gift from Him.
A blessing.
A lesson.
A miracle.
A grace.
A reason to hope again.
And believe me…
You don’t want to miss that.
There Is Always The Way Out 
Leave a comment